Being involved in politics is rather out of character for me, and it is not something I bring up most of the time. It was even hard for me to bring myself to wear a button, but I finally put one on a couple months ago--after half a year of active involvement in the campaign. But I feel I have to mention it now, or write nothing at all, because it is what weighs most heavily on my heart right now. I have never cared so much, believed so deeply, or fought so hard for something before.

But I felt called, and, having promised myself to always follow "God's Clues", whatever I perceived them to be, I threw myself into this work completely. It was more than I ever bargained for. We have worked hard, and met many wonderful, inspiring people, but we have also had to fight this battle on more fronts than we could have imagined. The most difficult opponent has been the corporate media, because it truly does have the power to "disappear" us no matter how much we cry "We are here! We are here! We are here!"

The latest indignity was an article in a local paper. The official Ohio grassroots leader, who jumped ship for a different candidate, and then switched to another, is portraying himself as the voice of the Ohio grassroots. The press is more than happy to tell the story his way, leading readers to believe that we, as a group, are transferring our "energy and enthusiasm" to another candidate.

But that is not what we are doing. My husband and I, and many other grassroots supporters, are working to do what Howard Dean asked us to do when he suspended (not ended) his campaign. We are working let people know that Howard Dean is still on the ballot, and that votes for him can still send delegates to the Democratic convention. None of the other candidates speaks for us, and this is the only way to be assured that we still have a voice.

How can we, as individuals, actually do that, if the powerful voice of the media is telling a different story? Believe me, I have tried--many of us have tried--to get people to tell our story, but to no avail.

I don't have an answer, but I pray that an answer will come. I have had some song lyrics in my head for the past couple days. I could only remember little snippets of the song, so I searched for the lyrics:

By eric clapton and stephen bishop

Holy mother, where are you?
Tonight I feel broken in two.
I’ve seen the stars fall from the sky.
Holy mother, can’t keep from crying.

Oh I need your help this time,
Get me through this lonely night.
Tell me please which way to turn
To find myself again.

Holy mother, hear my prayer,
Somehow I know you’re still there.
Send me please some peace of mind;
Take away this pain.

I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I can’t wait any longer.
I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I can’t wait for you.

Holy mother, hear my cry,
I’ve cursed your name a thousand times.
I’ve felt the anger running through my soul;
All I need is a hand to hold.

Oh I feel the end has come,
No longer my legs will run.
You know I would rather be
In your arms tonight.

When my hands no longer play,
My voice is still, I fade away.
Holy mother, then I’ll be
Lying in, safe within your arms